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A man is flying in a hot air balloon and realizes he is lost. He reduces height and spots a man down below. He lowers the balloon further and shouts:
"Excuse me, can you tell me where I am?"
The man below says: "yes you're in a hot air balloon, hovering 30 feet above this field."
"You must work in Information Technology" says the balloonist.
"I do" replies the man. "How did you know."
"Well" says the balloonist, "everything you have told me is technically correct, but it's no use to anyone."
The man below says "you must work in Management."
"I do" replies the balloonist, "but how did you know?"
"Well", says the man, "you don't know where you are, or where you're going, but you expect me to be able to help. You're in the same position you were before we met, but now it's my fault."

The poor man in the synagogue desperately raised his voice to the Lord. " Oh Lord please help me, I need R10 . Please Lord give me R10. The rich man praying next to him threw a note at him in exasperation. "Take this R20 and stop disturbing my prayer."

Small pig asked big pig, "Why is your mouth so big"
Big pig told small pig. "When you grow up you will see."

On divorce the husband and wife quarreled over who should take the house and who the car. The solution: the husband's lawyer took the car and the wife's lawyer took the house.

The Japanese student arrived in London for the first time and called a cab to take him to his campus which happened to be relatively close by. On reaching his destination he asked the fare.
" Two fifty" replied the cab driver . ( 2 pounds fifty pence)Jap happily counted two hundred and fifty pounds and bowed repeatedly"Tank yew, Tank yew, Tank yew. "

Top Crime Fighters
In an effort to determine the top crime fighting agency in the country, the president narrowed the field to three finalists, the NIA(National Intelligence Agency), the Scorpions, and the SAPS.
The three remaining contenders were given the task of catching a rabbit which was released into the forest.
The NIA went into the forest. They placed animal informants throughout. They questioned all plant and mineral witnesses. After three months of extensive investigation they concluded that rabbits do not exist.
The Scorpions went into the forest. After two weeks without a capture, they burned the forest killing everything in it, including the rabbit. They made no apologies. The rabbit deserved it.
The SAPS went into the forest. They came out two hours later with a badly beaten bear. The bear was yelling " Okay, Okay, I'm a rabbit, I'm a rabbit".

Bad day for James There's this little guy sitting inside a bar, just looking at his drink. He stays like that for half-an-hour. Then, this big trouble-making truck driver steps next to him, takes the drink from the guy, and just drinks it all down.
The poor man starts crying. The truck driver says: "Come on man, I was just joking. Here, I'll buy you another drink. I just can't see a man crying."
"No, it's not that. Today day is the worst of my life. First, I overslept and late to an important meeting. My boss, outrageous, fired me. When I left the building to my car, I found out it was stolen. The police, they said they could do nothing. I got a cab to return home, and after I paid the cab driver and the cab had gone, I found that I left my whole wallet in the cab. I got home only to find my wife was in bed with the gardener. I left home and came to this bar. And when I was thinking about putting an end to my life, you show up and drink my poison..."
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